Creating Little Things

So I’ve been a little bored with a lot of time to create, and although I’ve been needing to work on some commissions for family and friends, I always like to “doodle” as well! …With paint! Doodle painting? Poodling? Anyway, here are the little poodles I’ve been doing with the surplus of wood chips we had left from our wedding!


I’ve been playing around whether I want to make them into magnets, necklaces, earrings, or just plain wall art. I could do all of those things I guess… And on the plus side, I already have a friend who is incredibly interested in having all three of them made for her! Yay! I guess I need to get to work🙂

Being A Girl: A Brief Personal History of Violence

Powerful, heartbreaking…but very much the truth.

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I am six. My babysitter’s son, who is five but a whole head taller than me, likes to show me his penis. He does it when his mother isn’t looking. One time when I tell him not to, he holds me down and puts penis on my arm. I bite his shoulder, hard. He starts crying, pulls up his pants and runs upstairs to tell his mother that I bit him. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about the penis part, so they all just think I bit him for no reason.

I get in trouble first at the babysitter’s house, then later at home.

The next time the babysitter’s son tries to show me his penis, I don’t fight back because I don’t want to get in trouble.

One day I tell the babysitter what her son does, she tells me that he’s just a little boy, he doesn’t know…

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A New Change: Cabernet and Blonde.

For the past few months since I’ve been married, I’ve been thinking incessantly about doing something about my look. Something kind of different, kind of “edgy.” I’d really love a tattoo (I know which one I want and everything), but I’m scared of needles. I’d also like to pierce my ears again, but I already have two holes in each ear and the cartilage pierced. With wanting to do something that wasn’t too expensive or drastic, I decided to color my hair.

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My sister Heather is an amazing hairstylist (actually, both of my sisters are, but I went to Heather out of tradition!) I came into her shop not really knowing what exactly I wanted and came out loving everything about my color and cut. We decided to keep my natural blonde hair color and choose a color “plum” that would mix well with the color of blonde I had (cool blonde – cool color, warm blonde – warm color.) She used “Cabernet” and brightened it with more red. I’m not entirely sure about the details, but if you ever want to know, I would be happy to ask her!

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If you can’t tell by now, I love my hair! My sister did an awesome job, and I can’t wait until my hair grows out so I can put more layers in it. Maybe even do a…different color? : )

Anyway, to try and make my summer a little more memorable, I’d love to either get my ears pierced again (third holes or my tragus) or to get a tattoo.  If you’re not not sure about what a tragus is or other ear-piercing terminology, a great guide can be found here. Now for a tattoo, I am still deciding on whether I’d like to get one on my left wrist or above the crease on the inside of my elbow. Can you guess what I want to get as a tattoo? It has to do with The White Rose. specifically Sophie Scholl (duh!) I want to get “Freiheit” tattooed on my arm the same way that Sophie had written it on the back of her indictment. I have been thinking very carefully about this decision (for three years, to be exact.) Not only does freiheit (freedom) mean something to me in the same context in which she had written it in – freedom from control, government fascism, etc., but a freedom from myself. A freedom from my mind. Since I have an anxiety disorder, freedom is tremendously important to me. I want something that not only meant something to one of my most favorite figures in history, but something that also meant the world to me, personally. I want to be reminded of The White Rose and Sophie Scholl and also what I am trying to strive for in myself…my mind. So please wish me luck on what I decide to do!!

Also, since I only have an iPhone 4 and can’t download VSCOcam, I stole away my husband’s iPhone 5 and downloaded the app (bwahaha!) I have heard and seen so much of the photo editing affects and have been dying to try it myself. I created a profile – artisticaudrey – and used some photos I haven’t gotten to for editing that I took from our Disneymoon!

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These were taken at Disney’s Magic Kingdom around the New Fantasyland section behind Cinderella’s Castle. Aren’t they beautiful? I have many, many more photos I need to share from our Disneymoon that I will save for another day, but for now, I will end with an inspiring quote:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

My Morning: Post-Wedding Edition

It has been way too long since I have written anything in-depth about my life or how I’m feeling. Ever since last March, I have been immersed in wedding planning as my now-husband proposed to me that last 16th of the 3rd month of the 2014th year (clever, huh?) Anxiously, I felt I didn’t have much freedom or room to really focus on much else except the wedding, to which I contained myself into a mental box. Now I feel so much better, and to say the least, my creative juices have been flowing today!

Anyway, I suppose you are interested in the wedding or what I have in store for the future. The wedding itself was amazing! With an abundance of both emotion and fun, I can now say, like many others, that my wedding day was the best day of my life! I married the man of my dreams – my soulmate – and I’m glad to say I am happy I have finally arrived to this point of my existence. For now, we still have yet to go on our honeymoon (Disney World!!), but I am focusing on going back to school in the summer. I am focused on finally getting my degree.

I will not write too much more today, as I have a lot of cleaning to do, but I just wanted to post an update for readers who are still interested. I will post a lot more about the wedding and the planning process on another day. I hope a photo of my morning will suffice!

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“I let my mind wander and it never came back.” – Dau Voire

We Are All…

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As you all may (or may not) have known, I have been passionately interested in The White Rose for the past three years now. I can’t even believe it’s been that long! I love these guys so much, I feel like they are my long-lost friends. Reading about the White Rose has helped me establish a content in my heart that I haven’t found in anything before. I’ve made new, wonderful friends and relationships through this story. I even have a Tumblr blog dedicated to them called Sophie and the White Rose.

Anyway, today is the day that three of the members – Sophie and Hans Scholl, Christoph Probst – were beheaded by guillotine for their so-called crimes against the Nazi Regime, but I do not remember them for their tragic deaths, but for who they were (and for who they wanted to become.) Sophie was a talented artist, writer, and she impressed and received admiration from many people she came into contact with. She had a brilliant mind. As did Hans. Hans loved to have fun, and he could be found making jokes and had a great sense of humor. But he was also an incredibly deep thinker who was still trying to find the meaning of life (and himself) even to the day he died. Christoph was a father, a husband, a brother, a son, and he had a sensitive and thoughtful demeanor as well. One of my favorite stories of Christoph involves a garden and some pumpkins which showed how creative and imaginative he was as a child. They were not just martyrs. They were living, breathing, human beings full of flaws and setbacks and careless actions and regrets. They did stupid things, and they said thoughtless statements, just as you and I have done many times before. That is the beauty of it all, that they were just normal people going on about their lives with full of questions and anxieties, but they still were able to stand up and be strong to do what they thought was the right thing. I see time-and-time again of how someone posts about one of the members of the White Rose (specifically Sophie Scholl) and how she comes out looking like a polished, perfect little martyr that she was born to be. She wasn’t by any means born a martyr. In fact, she was actually an avid little Nazi-to-be with a strong standing and leadership position within the female segment of the Hitler Youth (BDM) as a teenager. She wasn’t by any means perfectly polished and composed. She had anxieties. She had problems that were hard for her to deal with. She had struggles with family members, friends, acquaintances, the environment in which she lived. She even had struggles with herself. They all did.

We are all Sophie Scholl. We are all Hans Scholl. Christoph Probst, Willi Graf, Alexander Schmorell, Kurt Huber, and the many other members of the White Rose. We can stand up and do something that we feel we need to do, despite how many excuses we make for ourselves that we can’t. We can all get past our flaws and setbacks and make a difference in this world, even if it is small. This is what I want those of you who hold on to the White Rose story to take back when reading about them. That you can make a difference. We all can. Please remember that.

Es Lebe die Freiheit!!

I’m Back!

Hello readers! I am so sorry it has been so long since I have updated my blog. A lot has happened since February and I am excited to write more. However, I won’t be able to write a whole lot today since I have been sick with a stomach bug and binge-watching TV shows on Netflix. For now, here’s an adorable picture of little fox and squirrel friends!

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Es Lebe die Freiheit!

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Seventy-one years ago today, these three brave students were tried and killed by guillotine for what was considered high-treason in Nazi Germany: Standing up against Hitler and the Regime. They compiled and distributed anti-Nazi leaflets around the country and even at the university in which they attended. On February 18, Hans and Sophie Scholl were spreading out the leaflets around the university building, and on a whim, Sophie pushed the remaining leaflets off the balcony, leading to their discovery and arrest. For the next few days, Hans and Sophie were interrogated and it was found that Christoph Probst (the man sitting directly across from Sophie writing on a pad of paper) was part of the White Rose resistance as well. The story of the White Rose and what they did must be acknowledged and cherished. It raises the question of ‘What would you do?’ in a nation so corrupt that you were swiftly beheaded for even questioning it at all. Other “core” White Rose members that should be acknowledged as well: Willi Graf, Alexander Schmorell, Kurt Huber, and Traute Lafrenz.

It’s high time that Christians made up their minds to do something . . . What are we going to show in the way of resistance-as compared to the Communists, for instance-when all this terror is over? We will be standing empty-handed. We will have no answer when we are asked: What did you do about it?” – Hans Scholl