A New Change: Cabernet and Blonde.

For the past few months since I’ve been married, I’ve been thinking incessantly about doing something about my look. Something kind of different, kind of “edgy.” I’d really love a tattoo (I know which one I want and everything), but I’m scared of needles. I’d also like to pierce my ears again, but I already have two holes in each ear and the cartilage pierced. With wanting to do something that wasn’t too expensive or drastic, I decided to color my hair.

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My sister Heather is an amazing hairstylist (actually, both of my sisters are, but I went to Heather out of tradition!) I came into her shop not really knowing what exactly I wanted and came out loving everything about my color and cut. We decided to keep my natural blonde hair color and choose a color “plum” that would mix well with the color of blonde I had (cool blonde – cool color, warm blonde – warm color.) She used “Cabernet” and brightened it with more red. I’m not entirely sure about the details, but if you ever want to know, I would be happy to ask her!

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If you can’t tell by now, I love my hair! My sister did an awesome job, and I can’t wait until my hair grows out so I can put more layers in it. Maybe even do a…different color? : )

Anyway, to try and make my summer a little more memorable, I’d love to either get my ears pierced again (third holes or my tragus) or to get a tattoo.  If you’re not not sure about what a tragus is or other ear-piercing terminology, a great guide can be found here. Now for a tattoo, I am still deciding on whether I’d like to get one on my left wrist or above the crease on the inside of my elbow. Can you guess what I want to get as a tattoo? It has to do with The White Rose. specifically Sophie Scholl (duh!) I want to get “Freiheit” tattooed on my arm the same way that Sophie had written it on the back of her indictment. I have been thinking very carefully about this decision (for three years, to be exact.) Not only does freiheit (freedom) mean something to me in the same context in which she had written it in – freedom from control, government fascism, etc., but a freedom from myself. A freedom from my mind. Since I have an anxiety disorder, freedom is tremendously important to me. I want something that not only meant something to one of my most favorite figures in history, but something that also meant the world to me, personally. I want to be reminded of The White Rose and Sophie Scholl and also what I am trying to strive for in myself…my mind. So please wish me luck on what I decide to do!!

Also, since I only have an iPhone 4 and can’t download VSCOcam, I stole away my husband’s iPhone 5 and downloaded the app (bwahaha!) I have heard and seen so much of the photo editing affects and have been dying to try it myself. I created a profile – artisticaudrey – and used some photos I haven’t gotten to for editing that I took from our Disneymoon!

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These were taken at Disney’s Magic Kingdom around the New Fantasyland section behind Cinderella’s Castle. Aren’t they beautiful? I have many, many more photos I need to share from our Disneymoon that I will save for another day, but for now, I will end with an inspiring quote:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

It’s Your Life

‘A new year, a new me’ right?

If that is what inspires you, who am I to take that quote away from you and tell you whether or not it is cliche? 

However, why plan the time when it is best for you to change yourself for the better? Why put off transforming yourself into a better person (especially when you have ideas on how to do so)? The time is always now. The time to blossom into the next uplifting phase of your life is always now.

Don’t wait your life away on that one perfect “moment.” That one “perfect” time of the year. I know, I remember stating in a previous entry that one of the reasons I love fall is because it makes me feel I can start over again…but, think about it. You start off the new part of the year thinking to yourself, “Oh yes, now I can start all over again, and I will get it right this time!” Then you start to feel overwhelmed. You start to feel dissatisfied with your goals that you had set up for yourself the month before. You start to change your perspective on things, and you start to find new goals. “Oh, well, I can start those new goals next spring.” Next winter. Next year. Next. Next. Next.

No, if you are evolving as a person, and you want to take on new inspirations, new dreams, goals, whatever, the time to do so is now.

Why rely on a blasted time-frame, a year, to find the content and happiness for yourself? Our lives are short, especially when you factor in unsuspecting circumstances such as accidents or sickness. We are so fragile. Our time is so fragile. 

I do not have room to speak. I have had this mindset for as long as I can remember, and I even felt this way back in good ol’ 2013. I’ll stop eating so much once 2014 gets here. I am now trying to change – mentally – on how to live life to the fullest as I can. I don’t have time to wait, and neither do you. 

My goals – to start right now – is to become healthier, to eat less fast-food and processed foods. To read poems and literature that I have not yet read or material I have never even heard of. To travel to places I have never been before…even if they are only forty-five minutes away. To paint my dreams, to sketch more. To organize my life, my priorities. 

What are your goals for yourself? Do you feel that you have been putting off those goals and improvements for your life? What are they?

“Every day I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.” – Claude Monet

What Is Your Source of Inspiration?

Is it music? Is it art? Is it nature?

Is it the way a delicate vine curls itself innocently around the cold, hard, black bar of a guarding iron fence? Is it the way the white sunlight twinkles along the ripples of the turquoise lake? Is it the way a silently graceful ballerina contorts her body in an artistic array of angles and space as she twirls? Is it the musty scent of an old, loosened book whose tattered pages have been turned many times before to the point of frailty?

Or…

Is it the thoughtful expression on a stranger’s face as they’re contemplating a silent, but powerful idea in their mind.

Or the way an accomplished athlete stands strong as the curves of their muscles paint their body, and the sweat tracing along their jawline.

For me, my source of inspiration comes from the tiny details of life to the wonderful masterpieces of human intelligence – a variety of things, so to speak. I seek inspiration in the use of color, pattern, and emotion in various works of art. The way the rain looks on the surface of a window. The way I can actually feel when a certain part of a song captures my soul and flows through my veins, taking me to a part of myself that I wish I could reside in forever. That one romantic ballad. That one powerful guitar riff.

The way a spooky ghost story makes me feel like running or looking all around me in hope that I am not alone, and that there are instances of the unexplained. The sound of a hooting owl among the trees. The way silk feels on bare skin. The warm, rising steam as it swirls away from the surface of a cup of tea. Photographs of our wondrous anatomy; cardiac vines, cephalic hills and valleys, the twists and turns of the tunnels of the Viscera. The artistic genius behind the making of the colors of nature – God. 

Certain colors: aquamarine, emerald green, midnight blue, lavender, blood red, rosette mauve – jewel colors. 

The luxuriously strong, yet warm smell of coffee, a pinch of cinnamon. Twinkling of stars, millions of miles away in space unknown. That wonderful sound in one’s voice as they are describing something they’re passionate about; or even yet, the sound of one’s voice when they take an honest interest in what you are saying. A light, perfumed scent of a summer rose. A microscopic, individual design of a winter snowflake. Gothic spires, Romanesque arches, Second-Empire mansards. Swing dancing: so fun and so spirited. The light, reverberating purrs of a contented cat. My all-time favorite: The little melodies of various songbirds in the spring time.

Life is ugly. Life is also beautiful.  

What inspires you? What things in life are you thankful for that deserve your celebration? What helps you go to the place in your mind in which you feel happiest, away from the dark corners of the world? 

Isn’t it a riddle . . . and awe-inspiring, that everything is so beautiful? Despite the horror. Lately I’ve noticed something grand and mysterious peering through my sheer joy in all that is beautiful, a sense of its creator . . . Only man can be truly ugly, because he has the free will to estrange himself from this song of praise. It often seems that he’ll manage to drown out this hymn with his cannon thunder, curses and blasphemy. But during this past spring it has dawned upon me that he won’t be able to do this. And so I want to try and throw myself on the side of the victor.” – Sophie Scholl

National Novel Writing Month: A Literary Life-Saver

So I have just recently became infatuated with writing down my thoughts and feelings. This is a wonderful experience for me, as I can relay things that are troubling my heart to those who will listen, or read.

I have been on ‘writer’s block’ for about four years now, due to the fact that at the time I was in the process of writing two different “novels” (how was I to know what the finished product was going to become?) One unfortunate day, my computer decided to retard to the blue screen of death, which ultimately led to the demise of those said works of literature. Needless to say, I felt very foolish for not backing my content up, and I felt even more uninspired. Although I remember what I was writing, I couldn’t for the life of me repeat the heart and emotion I felt while writing the individual sentences that entrailed my so-called novels. I just gave up, if you will. I haven’t felt compelled to write on any of my blogs, and I haven’t been keeping up with my life in my personal journal either. I tried several different ideas to jot my mind down on paper: a fashion/style journal, a dream diary, a medical research and information journal, a few notebooks to write down preparation for another novel I was thinking of two years ago. None of them helped me to be more inspired. I threw down my pencil, and I said, “The heck with it! It will come to me one day, and when it does, the wait will have been worth it.” I still felt like a failure though, and that I wasn’t getting anything done with my life.

Now, I’m back in the swing of things, and not only have I been inspired to contribute regularly on this blog, I have been writing in my diary/art book, and I have been thinking of a couple of ideas for a children’s book and a fantasy novel. November is National Novel Writing Month, and this is the basis for today’s topic. Also known as NaNoWriMo, the goal is to write a 50,000-word novel (of your choosing, of course) by midnight November 30th. The challenge starts this Friday, November 1st (also my mother’s birthday!!) You don’t have to write a novel: You can write a series, a fan-fiction, a long poem if you want! The main outcome is to get your creative juices flowing. I am very much inspired to start this challenge, and if you would like to as well, you can sign-up here. If you want to find out more about National Novel Writing Month, you can also go here.

Image rights to National Novel Writing Month

Image rights to National Novel Writing Month

Anyway, I have one idea that has been popping up in my mind constantly. I am not going to say exactly what it is yet, as I want to surprise you! I still need to organize my thoughts about it though. All I’m going to say is that it is going to be a mix of historical fiction and fantasy, inspired by works like Harry Potter, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Alice In Wonderland, and The Lord of the Rings. I’m so excited! Please wish me luck!

Audrey

Writers end up writing about their obsessions. Things that haunt them; things they can’t forget; stories they carry in their bodies waiting to be released.” – Natalie Goldberg